| Becoming an aunt. |
[Sep. 7th, 2007|08:27 pm] |
After a very traumatic couple of hours, my sister-in-law gave birth to (well strictly speaking had removed from inside her) a 4lb 11oz baby girl on Tuesday lunchtime, called Anna Joy. Apart from reminding me that childbirth in the 21st century can still be a very dangerous occupation, I am having problems coming to terms with the fact that my younger brother is now a daddy and my mother a grannie!
Anna is exquisite. She is absolutely tiny (other new born babies I have seen have tipped the scales several pounds heavier on their arrival), but perfectly proportioned and has now passed all her developmental checks and is allowed to go home. Sister-in-law is not faring quite so well, but is now well on the way to recovery and is hoping to go home early next week. Unsurprisingly, baby will stay with her rather than take her chances under my brother's care!
I am really hoping I will be able to really get to know Anna as she grows up. I usually only see my brother 3 or 4 times a year, as although we no longer fight like cat and dog, we don't really have much in common. I'm still unsure whether I want kids of my own, and the way I see it, sharing someone else's will give me a lot of the pleasure while missing out on the drawbacks (and most of all the committment!) As I am geographically closer than any of the grandparents and can thus pop in for an afternoon, I fully intend to do so as time (and the parents!) permit. However, this was my intention when I gained a goddaughter but as her mother is so useless at staying in touch, I'm losing interest in doing all the running around.
Anyway, hooray for other people's children who can be cuddled, look cute and be photogenic! |
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| Drowning in boxes |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|09:12 pm] |
House now officially full-of-cardboard-boxes. Most of them with things in however. This time next week we'll be running round throwing the last few bits in and labelling boxes "misc" before men with ven arrive to take it all up the road for us. And then we unpack it all again.....
Can't wait to have a home again, be reunited with books, kitchen stuff and other treasures which have been stacked in the garage for the last year. Also can't wait to have a garden again and releasing my plants from the confines of their pots. |
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| Update |
[Jul. 13th, 2007|03:45 pm] |
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Not been good at posting but as life has moved on again thought I would make the effort to put fingers to keyboard.
We are moving house again, at last. Few hiccups with R's job at the beginning of the year put the hunting on hold for a few months, then the landlord decided he was going to sell the house and wouldn't renew the lease. Faced with a choice of moving into another rented house and then buying in a few more months or trying to find something double quick to buy, we went with plan A while not entirely ruling out plan B. In the event, plan B came together, we exchanged contracts yesterday for completion a week before the end of the lease. Phew!
House is nice and has opportunities for extension which we'd like to try our hand at. Garden is much smaller than we had before, but I knew I was likely to have to compromise on that and after a year of confining myself to pots anything will be a bonus for a while! Moving the pots (somewhere around 150), however, will be an interesting operation.... 2 stops further down the train line, but walking distance from the station so the working day will be 20 mins longer.
Very excited about having our "own" home again. No longer do we have to put up with someone else's (very poor) taste in curtains and decor. We can do something about rotten doors and dripping taps. We can unpack ALL the books and kitchen stuff rather than leaving quantities in boxes "because we're not going to be here long". New kitchen has range style cooker and American fridge freezer. Although the house is smaller than the last couple we've lived in, my study won't be the smallest room in the house.
Better start packing I suppose - removal men arrive 1 month today and we seem to have a LOT of stuff. R thinks we can do most of it a weekend, but then he was working every hour God sent last time we moved, so all he had to pack was his study....... |
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| Year end |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|05:56 pm] |
OK – so where did the rest of the year go?
The summary:-
August
Finally moved house amidst much flapping, fretting and cardboard boxes. Now installed in a large rented house in Fleet, Hampshire, 10 minutes from R’s work, so we have our lives back, yay!
September
Week’s holiday in Cornwall with Mother and dog. Nice time had by all, but not really a holiday for R and I (and full marks to him for both agreeing to spending a week with his mother-in-law and for doing so with a smile on his face!) We have informed my brother it is his turn next year….
October
Start of mad few months at work, ending the month with a large auction where we realised almost 3 times our expected turnover. Champagne anyone? First day off sick for more years than I can remember with a revolting cold that rendered me more or less unable to get up from the sofa for 24 hours.
November
More busy-ness at work with another large and very successful sale. Also, house-warming party leading to the realisation we are getting older – 7 children under 5 in the house simultaneously, and everyone had gone home by 7pm. Well, except the couple who arrived at 7.45pm, with whom we spent a very civilised and sociable evening!
December
Yet another sale at work which merely went well, rather than exceptionally well, but the realisation that on 4 and 2 half people, the company has turned in excess of 5.5 million pounds this year. More champagne and large bonuses! Another day off work with another vile cold – this time unable to stay awake for more than an hour at a time. Recovered in time for a busy Christmas, spent mostly in the kitchen feeding families, but very enjoyable. Quite pleased when the last one finally left though…..
And so, time to look forward…..
Spend more time with friends
Use time away from work well, (and hopefully less time at work. Commuting full-time is bad for my health, home-life and sanity)
Eat more healthily
Make time for regular exercise
Nothing mind-blowing or unusual, but a general move towards contentment with life.
Bring on 2007, I'm ready for it! |
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| Chaos |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|02:47 pm] |
So, it looks as if we are finally on the move. Completion is due to take place on 24th August, so we have to be out by then. I pick up keys to the rented house tomorrow, so the only issue left is to work out how to get rather a large quantity of possessions from A to B. The house looks like cardboard city, so the first part of the operation is in progress, but finding men with van suitably large, available next week, is proving to be more difficult than anticipated. We have now found a couple of people prepared to quote, so hopefully this too will soon be resolved.
Just to add to the stress levels, R is in Germany for work until Friday afternoon.....
Here's hoping life will be a lot less manic when we come out the other side! |
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| Good news (I hope) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2006|11:19 am] |
Well, it looks as if we might have finally sold the house! At least, we have accepted an offer from someone who has an offer on their flat, so solicitors have been instructed to commence their paper shuffling. At the moment, After almost 12 months on the market, I am hardly daring to believe it will all go through - a large proportion don't for so many reasons, but our buyers want to move in 6 weeks, so we aren't going to stand in their way! Which means we have to complete the simple tasks of a) finding somewhere else to live, and b) packing our lives and possessions into cardboard boxes. Whilst I don't for one moment believe all the necessary searches, surveys, mortgage offers etc. will be dealt with in as little as 6 weeks, and expect it to be nearer 12, we have to assume we don't have that long to sort ourselves out, so we don't get caught on the hop. Added to which, we are away on holiday for 2 weeks from next Sunday. Aargh!
R is still working far too hard - 2 nights away again this week, and he's working on Sunday. We are really going to need this holiday.... |
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| Enough is enough |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|09:26 pm] |
Well, I've had a really c**ppy weekend. OK, the sun was shining, I went market shopping and spent a lot of time in the garden, but once again I was ON MY OWN. For the nth weekend in a row, R was working (his current work crisis has meant he has had 3 days off since the beginning of April, so yes, he's been at work pretty much every weekend and bank holiday for as long as I can remember). This in addition to leaving home at 6am, and arriving home around 11pm most nights, if he comes home at all. It was 11.30pm on Friday and Saturday nights, and last night (Sunday) he spent yet another night in a hotel and won't be home until Thursday at the earliest.
I'm usually quite happy spending time on my own, amusing myself, but I am beginning to get tired of it. That's not to say I don't have a social life when R isn't around, but when there is a chance he will be home, given how little we're seeing of each other at the moment, I would rather wait in. That and not knowing far enough in advance when I'm going to be alone, so that when it becomes apparent, everyone has made plans.
It's nobody's fault. The deadline has always been tight, we had hoped we would have moved by now, so that at least if he finished work at 11.30 or 12.30 or 3am, he could come home for a few hours and he's not the only one. But now he's tired, fed up (and as the deadline is now 24hrs away), stressed and I can't even help by providing cooked meals, chocolate or hugs. Actually, I'm lying about the chocolate. I put a bar in a Jiffy bag and posted to him at work today. Post deadline is the delivery to the customer in Germany, so the theory goes that it will all be over by the end of the week, but I'm now tired and emotional and don't want to wait that long.
Up until now, it hasn't been that difficult - I do have a life of my own, I enjoy having the house to myself sometimes, and R was enjoying the challenge. But now he's stopped enjoying it as he's just too tired, so it has hard for me to see why he's doing it. In my more rational moments, I know why. This is HIS product, which he was recruited to give birth to. He's created the box, built the team to generate it and VERY nearly succeeded in integrating it with another one. And all for a very worthy cause which is so top-secret I'm not supposed to know what it is.
The upside is that he'll have a lot of days in lieu to take back, which we can enjoy together over the summer. Hooray for part-time working! Extra days off would be of limited use if I had to take Annual Leave to spend them with him. By then we'll have forgotten the pain and will appreciate the bonuses.
Roll on Saturday..... |
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| Long time no post... |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|02:17 pm] |
Well, far from having more time once I started the new job, the converse seems to have happened. This is largely due to my mother's slightly bungled attempt at moving house - bungled partly by her but largely by circumstances.
She moved out of the "family home" on 28th March after much stress and panic about losing her buyer, whether the removal firm would be available to move her out, whether various organisations would take the excess clutter away, whether she had thrown out sufficient things.... Unfortunately, the house she was due to move into, wasn't ready for exchange of contracts, so she and the dog have moved in with us. Living with one's parents 15 years after you moved out is not without its stresses, even if it is only a temorary measure. Fortunately the house is big enough to accommodate us all without real anguish, but R and I are finding the lack of emotional space more difficult. Since he is generally only home for about an hour before bedtime on weekday evenings, we are getting very little time to ourselves and I am not getting the couple of hours of peace and quiet before he gets in. The dog doesn't really help, especially since she has escaped from the garden we thought was secure (twice), stolen and eaten half of dinner from the worktop and still doesn't understand that humans weren't put on this earth just for her to play with!
We know she didn't choose it to work out this way and in some respects, it is nice to be able to spend some time with her as she is getting older and less able and I'm sure she is suffering from similar frustrations herself. So we all heaved a huge sigh of relief when she exchanged contracts on Wednesday and arranged to move in to her new abode on 25th. My biggest fear was that the chain would collapse and we would end up with her longer term while she found something else to buy. This will now not happen, so the end is in sight!
I've always said I wouldn't want to have any of our parents moving in with us when they got too old to look after themselves, and this experience has confirmed it. We get on very well, speaking on the phone several times a week, seeing each other regularly and it would be a shame to destroy that relationship by forcing ourselves on each other long term.
(on the subject of housemoving, we have now had 7 or 8 viewings on the house in the last couple of weeks - we seem to be getting that little bit closer to selling it .... fingers crossed!) |
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| Grant me patience......Please? |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|10:21 am] |
I am discovering I would make a very bad teacher. I am also a frightful academic snob.
My replacement has started at work, and I am attempting to train her to do what I have been doing for the last 10 months – basically produce a journal.
I can’t make up my mind whether I’m just impatient, a bad teacher, or if she is just not very bright.
She has a degree from Greenwich, (which is where the snobbery kicks in – I didn’t even know Greenwich had a university) and a masters from Hertfordshire. Well, R has had some placement students from there in his time and has always been less than impressed.
My job is far from difficult, but it does involve co-ordinating a great many papers and putting them through a large number of steps.
I was somewhat baffled when, having provided her with a shiny new notepad and pen, she wrote nothing down in it until Day 5. I tried to be positive about this, as while I need to write everything down to cement it in my brain, especially when the process is as convoluted as journal production, I appreciate that not everyone’s mind works that way. She now has a collection of disjointed notes scribbled randomly through the pages. I have provided both training notes and a work-flow diagram, but while these have been blu-tacked to the wall, I have yet to see her refer to them.
I had a week of part-time training when I started, and although not confident, had a basic grasp of the production process by the time my predecessor left. Rachel has now been with me 2 weeks, and I would be very worried about leaving her in sole charge of the journal. While it shouldn’t be my problem, since I’m leaving I can’t help but feel responsible. I took an afternoon off, and left her with one task. I went through it with her 3 times, reminded her to send the electronic files as well as the scanned, copyedited papers and left her to it. On arriving back, she took great delight in telling me that she’d had an email from the typesetters asking her if she could also forward the electronic files. She has actually performed this task half a dozen times before, so to have still not grasped it is a bit of a worry.
Other gems she has achieved so far include:-
Throwing away copyright forms
Leaving papers on the desk when the copyeditor is on his way to collect them from reception.
Not knowing the difference between a manuscript and a proof in spite of her previous job being in publishing
Wanting to send proofs, which had just arrived from the typesetters, straight back to the typesetters.
Asking her to print out an email I’d forwarded to her, to discover it in her deleted items box.
Failing to be able to find a critical email from the typesetters – thankfully I’d been copied on it too.
Posting papers to the wrong proofreader.
Not knowing what “citation” meant (and she’s an English graduate – see comments above!)
Trying to send costing notifications, destined for a copyeditor, to the internal finance department.
I’m finding myself getting increasingly exasperated with her and find myself replying to “stupid” questions with unnecessary degrees of patronisation or suffixed by an involuntary deep sigh. I think patience is a virtue I missed out on somewhere along the way! Thank goodness I didn’t feel “called” to go into teaching!
Ah well, only one more day to go. I’ve made my manager aware that she’s going to need to keep a close eye on production for the time being, otherwise there will be no journal to speak of next time round |
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| Day out |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|09:13 am] |
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We went to Kew Gardens on Saturday, partly because we've never been and partly because we wanted to see the Chihuly glass exhibition http://www.rbgkew.org.uk/chihuly/index.html which finishes next weekend. We'd seen it on TV and were very keen to see it in "real life". Definitely worth the trip (and even more so since we got "buy one get one free" on entry tickets for being in possession of a Travelcard), in spite of the rather cold and blustery weather. The colours and shapes were truly amazing and looked quite at home amongst the plants. I would have dearly loved to take a few bits home. Interestingly, when we had some some of his other work at the V&A we were far less impressed, but have put this down to the marriage of plants and glass rather than mere "objets". We're also very keen to go back to Kew later in the year, when the gardens themselves will be a lot more interesting. We did confine our visit mostly to the glasshouses both for practical weather related reasons, and because that was where most of the glass was displayed, so still plenty to see on a return trip. |
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| New Job! |
[Dec. 24th, 2005|10:24 am] |
I went to help out at the coin auctions again last week, and was somewhat taken aback to be invited out for coffee by the 2 directors, once the main proceedings were over. I was even more shocked when they offered me a permanent job! It has been mentioned in the past, when I was gainfully unemployed, but as nothing much had happened, I had assumed it had been put on the back burner. Now we've crossed the 't's and dotted the 'i's, it looks as if I will be joining them at some point in the new year. Upside is it will make use of my business skills, enable me to learn more about the running of a company, is only 3 days a week to start with, but for more rather more money than I'm earning full time at the moment and will still be feasible if and when we finally move house. Downside is it's in central London, so will involve returning to the life os a commuter and battling with trains and tubes, but having done it before, I know what I'm letting myself in for. If R can cope with the M25 on a daily basis, and still arrive home smiling, I'm sure I can manage the joys of British Rail (or whatever they call themselves these days...)
The job will be a challenge - the 5 of them have worked together for decades and are very set in their ways. Essentially they ultimately want me to take on the running of the business so they can concentrate on being coin and medal experts. Thus there is no onus on me even to become interested in their wares, although I have a feeling quite a lot will rub off anyway. I will enjoy being part of a small business, able to make a difference and explore ways of making the company more efficient. With 2 spare days a week, I will also have time to improve my skills in other areas; take that Access course I've been talking about for years, complete the proofreading course and maybe take on some freelance work, learn something weird and wacky just for the fun of it and still have time be the domestic goddess I would like to be(!). Well, perhaps! If it works out, the day job will become full-time, but until I start, we'll have no idea when. So I want to be able to make the most of the extra time while it's there, rather that find myself regretting wasting it when I no longer have time to do anything other than work, eat and sleep again.
So, new starts again for 2006. Let's hope the new house isn't too far behind to complete the picture. |
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| Christmas Parties |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|03:20 pm] |
We’ve spent the last 2 Friday evenings at our respective work Christmas parties. For the first time for both of us, we were also included in each other’s invitations (if that makes sense!)
R’s was a black tie event at a 5 star hotel in Hampshire. We’d both had fairly horrific days, so by the time we got there we were both frazzled and late. However, being shown to our room (we were also being put up there for the night), life instantly got better. Sadly there wasn’t time to take advantage of the luxurious looking bath, but it was nice to get dressed up in style.
Champagne reception, 3 course dinner, live band. This company celebrates Christmas in a big way! It was interesting meeting the people R works with and talks about, putting faces to names and even more interesting meeting their other halves! Only real downside was losing track of how much I was drinking since the waiting staff were all too efficient at refilling glasses and feeling somewhat groggy by bed time. I’m getting too old for excess alcohol consumption! Managed to get R on to the dance floor, under protest – for someone so musical he is remarkably unco-ordinated when it comes to dancing, but my theory is it is lack of confidence. Need to practice at home!
Unfortunately, we were unable to make the most of the hotel in the morning, as we had to get to Heathrow to collect a piece of equipment vital to R’s current project. Made it to breakfast though, but somewhat horrified when the buffet, orange juice and coffee for 2 came to just short of £50! Just as well this was also covered by the company. We’d been discussing earlier, the possibility of treating ourselves to the occasional night somewhere similar, but if that’s typical of breakfast prices, we’ll be taking our own pack of croissants!
The IEE “do” was at the London office, just off the Embankment. Not so posh, but nice location (and my first visit to the building too). R was not really with it, having had to work through both Tuesday and Wednesday night before a presentation in Germany on Thursday afternoon, but was adamant he was still up to it. Hot buffet this time, and wine on tap both very palatable. The highlight was the “chocolate fountain”, which was a very acceptable way of taking dessert. Lots of people got very drunk, so we were glad we had gone in by train rather than joining the coaches provided, and R had to give in just after 10, which was pretty good, considering. Once again, it was good to introduce him to my colleagues and to meet their partners myself. It’s also good to have the opportunity to talk about something other than work for a change and get to know the people rather than the job title.
Well, I won’t be at the IEE next year, but I am looking forward to R’s work party next year since they always try to do something really special to show their appreciation. I can learn to get used to that kind of luxury! |
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| I hate estate agents |
[Nov. 4th, 2005|03:22 pm] |
Life is somewhat frustrating at present as our house has now been on the market close to 4 months and we're no nearer selling than at the outset. We have had just 2 families round to view in that time, have dropped the price twice, changed agents and still no joy.
We always knew it would take a while to find a buyer, but not even having people to view is somewhat depressing. Yes, it's a big house, so is affordable by a smaller number of people than last time we sold, and we know it's a bad time to be trying to sell, but we had hoped to be a little closer to relocating by now. The agents promise you the earth, and although you know they're all lying little toads, you hang on to the hope that there may be a grain of truth in what they say.
I'm starting to want to yell and scream every time someone asks how the house-selling is going. I know they mean well, but it only draws attention to the fact that we're helplessly willing someone to see the "For Sale" board or the newspaper advert and want to buy our house. Believe me, if someone makes an offer, the whole world will know about it!
My main problem, however, is that we're not moving because we want to, or even because we have to. R has been commuting round the M25 since the middle of July and is surviving. He's loving the job, so the journey, which is taking an average of 2 hrs each way, is an irritation rather than a major problem. Yes, even though he's leaving at 6.15am and is rarely home before 8pm. We like the house, I like my job and the associated benefits, we have a number of friends nearby... Yet making the decision not to move is daft. Why should R spend 4 hours a day in the car just to avoid the hassle of moving. Life is far too short too spend so much of it on the M25!
Patience has never been one of my strong points, but I'm having to learn that lesson now! At least we're now at the point that we will still be "at home" for Christmas, so we won't be surrounded by cardboard boxes for our week off. In the meantime, we just have to sit and wait..... |
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| You can choose your friends... |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|04:53 pm] |
Last Sunday, my mother-in-law turned 70. She does not normally believe in celebrating birthdays, anniversaries etc., as she sees no reason to “conform to rituals”. However, several months ago, she asked us if we would invite the family to lunch that day. We were very happy to oblige, and invitations were duly issued. We were 11 people (including R’s brother and wife (S&J), their 2 children, aged 4 and 6 (a&b), S’s 2 daughters from a previous relationship, aged 22 and 20 (A and B) and B’s boyfriend)
Unfortunately, the younger kids are not well trained. It can’t be very easy for them, as we only see them once a year (there is an age difference of 8 years between R and S, and they’ve never got on, plus they live 2 hours drive from us) and from where we’re standing, it is the way they have been brought up. Every time we see them, we hold out the hope that they might not be as bad as last time. After the experience of the previous weekend, with more, younger children who knew us no better, we saw no reason to expect anything else.
No such luck! Tantrums, sulks, refusal to eat anything at all (although we had established beforehand that of the food we planned, there was plenty of things they liked) until their parents played the “that’s Mummy’s bread/chicken/sausage. You can’t touch that because it’s Daddy’s. Mummy will be very cross if she comes back and finds her bread/chicken/sausage has gone” game. They were bribed with chocolate to stand still for 5 minutes while we posed for a “family photo” and found it amusing to lick and smear sticky fingers all over the windows (and S&J found it amusing to watch them, so they did it again….. and again. The real highlight was when B put his muddy trainer on the (cream coloured) seat cushion to be reprimanded by J, who then turned to me. “Are the covers washable?”, she asked. When I nodded, she said, “Oh, it’s alright, they’re washable” as if it was OK to carry on, which of course he did. Fortunately, they only stayed for 2 1/2 hours, but I had a thumping headache and very little patience left by the time they went. I like to think I’m a fairly tolerant easy-going person, and it worries me that I feel quite such strong, negative feeling towards R’s brother and immediate family. I am, however, not alone in my opinions as R, his mother and his father all have similar feelings. It saddens me that we don’t have a better relationship with them, as I would love to be able to play the doting aunty. However, try as I might, I don’t really like S & J as people (based on a continuous series of events, tainting most of our encounters, not worthy of going into detail) so am unlikely to be putting much time and effort into remedying this. So for now, we will limit the endurance test to once or twice a year…….
For what it’s worth, A and B are charming, polite, well-adjusted young ladies. They are very different from me and are far too cool and trendy to have featured on my friends list (or more to the point, I on theirs), had the age gap been smaller, but they respect the differences and always seem genuinely pleased to see us. However, unlike the little ones, mother-in-law had a large hand in their upbringing (she hasn’t been allowed to develop a relationship with a and b, perhaps as a reaction to her inclination to get a little “over-involved” in things, but it struck me as very sad that they wouldn’t even stand beside her to have a photo taken, where at the same age, my brother and I would have been fighting to crawl onto Grandma’s lap) and they have been left to their own devices by both parents for several years already.
It’s very easy to be critical of the way children are brought up when you don’t have any of your own, and I know it’s not any easy job. Besides, nothing anyone says to parents will change they way they approach it, especially when they can’t see that the behaviour they find charming and endearing is at best irritating and at worst unbearable to other people. However, if we do decide to go down the children route, I know which of our friends and family we’ll be asking for advice! |
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| BBQ |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|11:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
Since we hope we won’t still be in our house by next summer (although at the present rate of progress we may well be), combined with the fact we haven’t seen some of our friends for far too long, we decided to have a barbecue on Saturday to take full advantage of our garden. Miraculously, it didn’t rain and as always, we prepared far too much food (even more so since a number of people who’d said they’d be coming, didn’t actually turn up……)
The whole afternoon was not far short of chaos, in a nice disorganised way. It started when the estate agent phoned to ask if someone could come and look at the house at 2.45pm (we were due to start at 3pm!) and since it was only the second viewing since went on the market over 2 months ago, I didn’t think I could say no! At least the house was clean and tidy! In fact, the first people didn’t turn up until 3.45 so we had time to start throwing crisps into bowls and chop up crudités once the viewers had gone. The beginning was somewhat child-orientated, as we had 3 2-ish year olds charging round exploring both house and garden and a month old baby for the childless among us to dote on. Somewhat marred by R’s godson being unwell and throwing up all over the hall as soon as he arrived, (initially put down to car-sickness, but actually turned out to be a 24 hour bug as he was ill several more times but fine by Sunday evening). Fortunately, I’m not phased by these things and seemed less bothered clearing up than his mother.
The evening was a little more civilised, once the little ones had gone home. We can tell we’re getting old though, as we got through only 2 bottles of wine, several gallons of fruit juice and everyone had gone home before 11pm! This is what happens when everyone needs to drive home, or has children to consider, or both. Still, it was lovely to catch up with people we hadn’t seen for a while, fascinating to observe who was talking to who and frustrating not to be able to hold an entire conversation with anyone before more food needed to be rescued from the fridge, glasses found or a child prevented from doing itself any damage. As for those who didn’t turn up, well, in truth they were only “probablies”, but the only ones who phoned to apologise were those who were excused anyway on the grounds that K is due to give birth any day (and who had suffered a flood caused by builders the day before….)
All in all good fun, but these things are always far more exhausting than we imagine. Catering for so many people again will be put on hold at least until we’re not waking up at 5.50am in the week so that R misses the traffic on the way to work as we hadn’t recovered by Monday morning (another sign of age is that this was in no way due to excess alcohol consumption). We’ll just have to better at inviting people in small groups for civilised, middle-aged dinner parties………. |
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| I like my job! |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|02:51 pm] |
I've just passed for press for the 8th time. There is something distinctly satisfying about getting to the point where you can clear all the papers off your desk, ready to start again. I've had bits of paper all over the place for the last 2 weeks, some on my desk, some at the copyeditor, some at the typesetter, some at the proofreader. They should all land back on my desk on a Wednesday, having been through all the various processes, ready to generate a nice shiny journal.
I regularly wonder how someone with such a disorganised approach to life actually achieves this, and there are regularly moments when it looks distinctly unlikely to happen. This is actually more often to be circumstances (like yesterday, when the typesetter phoned to say they had a major technological breakdown and could I fax all the corrected proofs back instead of posting them on the ftp site, or when both freelance proofreaders decide to go on holiday at the same time), but fingers crossed, so far I've been able to pull it off! Of course, there are frustrations in dealing with authors all round the world, especially at this time of year when everyone seems to be on holiday. Arguing (by email) with authors who believe that their paper is so important I can waive the 3 column length limit for them, or who think they know more about typesetting than the typesetter, is all in a day's work now. I've had to hold over one paper this issue from an author who's paper is overlong, has a query on author affiliations and who only sent his transfer of copyright form yesterday, but it's no skin off my nose!
It never ceases to amaze me how dim some academics can be. Asking an author to reduce the length of their paper by 3/4 column regularly results in the return of a proof with half a dozen lines scrawled out. Authors chasing the status of a manuscript a week after submission, when we clearly state it takes a minimum of 6 weeks to carry out the peer review process (and that's quicker than pretty much any other journal. Reviewers complaining when we chase the reports they claim they returned weeks ago, for us to discover that they've forgotten to press the "submit" button on the on-line submission page. Still, it all adds to life's rich pattern and I guess the job would be very boring indeed if everything always went according to plan.
My next challenge is to find another production editor job once we've moved, hopefully with a publication for which I understand the content! |
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| Children |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|11:43 am] |
Went to visit a friend last night, who had her first baby a week ago. I like children and babies so it was good to go and see them, but it sets me thinking, for the nth time this year, about whether this is the way I see my life going. Trouble is, I'm well and truly on the fence and at the ripe old age of 33, don't want to sit there for that much longer. At the moment, with house move and subsequent job change on the cards, I can use it as an excuse not to make a decision yet, but it is just that - an excuse. It doesn't help that R is as neutral on the subject as I am - if one of us felt strongly one way or the other, it would be so much easier!
Until about 18 months ago, I was adamant I didn't want children. Then "everyone" (well, when 3 people in the same week phone to tell you they're expecting, it feels like everyone, and yes, this did happen to us) seemed to be going down the children route and it made me think again. And when the third one of a group of 4 of us who grew up together made her announcement, I had a massive rush of hormones and decided I really did want children. As this was in the midst of the great "which job" discussion, it got quite complicated, as R announced that the potential arrival of babies in the house would and should influence that decision. However, after a few days, rationality set in again......
As I've already said, I like children, and the dirty nappies and other unpleasant things don't bother me in the least, since I've looked after other people's children since I was a teenager. The problem lies with the complete committment it involves. No going out for the evening at the drop of a hat, no lie-ins (or should that be lies-in) at weekends, re-thinks on the kind of holidays we have, greater presence of parents and in-laws, conversations revolving exclusively around the little darlings, sleepless nights (and neither of us function at all well on not enough sleep), total change in my relationship with R (which I'm more than content with at present - if it ain't broke, don't fix it...), even less time for doing the things I enjoy in life. I'm told that the joy of having children compensates for all these things, but I really like my life at the moment and am concerned I won't like it as much if we make such a monumental change to it. As for pregnancy and birth, I just don't want to go there. The thought of it completely horrifies me.
All this sounds as if I'm trying to make the decision on my own, when nothing can be further from the truth. The "shall we, shan't we" conversation is a regular one, as we discuss all the cons (and occasionally the pros!) The best we manage is, "not yet", but we can't use that one for ever. In a lot of ways, I'd be grateful if the decision was taken out of my hands, either with an accident, or discovering that, actually, we can't have children. This is why I know things have changed, as when we had a bit of a scare shortly after we got married, it freaked us both out and the relief when we discovered all was well was amazing. There's also the risk that after all the soul-searching, we decide to go for it, and then find out it's not going to happen. I guess what really worries me, is finding ourselves 10 or 20 years down the line, regretting not having children just through an inability to make a decision. Either that, or saying, "yes", getting pregnant and then changing my mind...
There's no easy answer, and it's a decision only the two of us can make. My short-term solution is for us to get a puppy (yes, I'm still smitten with my mother's), as at least you can leave them "home alone" for several hours without being arrested for abuse, you can take them to kennels if you want to go away and after the first few months, they're good company rather than demanding your attention all the time. However, they do have needs and are a committment, so it would be an interesting experiment to see whether we would cope. Unfortunately not an option at present, with both of us working full-time, but we'll see what happens once we've moved. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy getting to know my friends' children, safe in the knowledge that at the end of the day, I can just hand them back...... |
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| Holiday! |
[Jul. 23rd, 2005|02:53 pm] |
Just back from a well-earned holiday, feeling fully rested, rejuvenated and ready for the next installment of life.
We went to Austria, starting in Salzburg for a couple of days, then moving on to St Wolfgang on the shore of the Wolfgangsee at the foot of the Schafberg. So, a couple of days of culture and shopping. Having spent my 3rd year of university in Vienna, I got a strange thrill out of buying packed lunches in the supermarket, seeing all the familiar products and brand names again. It also gave me an opportunity to tune back in to the language, as it was far too long since I last made use of it. Weather was somewhat unsettled, but we’d missed the previous week’s torrential rain, borne out by the height and speed of the river and at least we were happy to duck in and out of museums. Somewhat overwhelmed by the “over Mozart-edness” of the city, and made a point of not trying to get to a themed concert of which there were far more options than necessary. The problem with believing oneself to be vaguely musical is that one becomes somewhat opinionated about mediocre music available for the undiscerning tourist who is easily charmed by period costume and attractive venue.
Moving on…
Drove through the last of the heavy rain to get to the next stop, and getting excited by the glimpses of mountains and lakes through the clouds and trees. It had stopped by the time we’d checked in, so we went for a wander into the town and along the shore until it started to rain again – in fact the only time we got completely soaked during the week. Woke up Wed morning to clear blue skies and spent the rest of the week enjoying them, drifting around lakes on boats, walking around the mountains (generally having taken the lazy option of train or cable car to the top!) and seeing some of the other natural “attractions” including the Ice Caves and Salt mines. Scenery was absolutely stunning and between us we took something in the region of 350 photos. Thank goodness for digital photography! Food and drink also featured fairly heavily on the agenda – again an opportunity for me to indulge in some serious reminiscing.
All in all, a very restful holiday. Being with R has made me re-evaluate the point of holidays, and I no longer feel it necessary to charge around for the entire time trying to see, do and experience all there is in the area. Only bit of me that got overworked was my brain in trying to dredge up the German from the depths of memory, which I was very pleased to discover, came back quite quickly. It’s good to know that 4 years of a Modern Languages degree hasn’t gone entirely to waste and I was right in leaving the dictionary behind! |
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| Update |
[Jul. 4th, 2005|03:04 pm] |
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So, the dilemma at work has been resolved such that as from today I am employed directly by the IEE and not by the recruitment agency, in the job I wanted. It's still a temporary contract, in the first instance for 3 months, but apparently renewable if (as is extremely likely) I'm still around at the end of September. Thus I probably have work until we move and more importantly, at an increased salary. Still won't get sick pay for another 3 months (but as I can't remember when I last had time off ill that's not a major problem to me) and I'm taking my entire leave entitlement next week, but all in all it seems to be a good thing. |
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